Random Advice

Never wear white to visit the black hole; never make fun of terrorists; always exploit the mental advantage; never ever buy a slow car; never buy a front wheel drive car; always like the red sox;always hate the yankees; never yell bomb whilst on a plane; never try to fight an air marshall; never go to Compton; never explore Serj Tankians empty walls; never make fun of someone in the armed forces; never watch a chick flick because love stories suck, love is for people who are too weak to watch after themselves; try to discover the meaning of life; never go to the middle east on a vacation, you will die; never throw a show at the president; never procrastinate; never visit your in laws, never break any rules, but push them to their limits; look for loopholes in EVERYTHING; always remember its only cheating if you get caught; never try any drugs; never get into a relationship, they are a black hole of money and you will break up anyway; always laugh when you shouldn't; always stay away from Michael Jackson's never land ranch; never invite Tom Cruise into your house, he will break your couch; never follow a baseball team with a crapy bullpen, they will always blow the lead (07 and 08 Mets); always argue until you win; always make fun of european people; always try to live in Canada; never vote for Barrack Osama; always drive a huge, gas guzzling SUV; always aid global warming, winter sucks; always make fun of Al Gore; never believe a politician; never become a WoW player, you will become addicted; never allow yourself to get fat; always play weird obscure sports, like water polo and rowing; never allow yourself to buy a hybrid car; always "hate" on posers; always make some amazing game character, like the pope in SoulCaliber; always drive above the speed limit; never buy a dodge viper, corvettes are better; always put the biggest turbo you can find onto your car; always avoid homeless people; always remember karma is fake; always believe in God; never visit new york; go bungee jumping; go skydiving; never forget when you were wronged; always get revenge multiple times; always lie to people who aren't your friends; when no one's looking, what reason do you have not to steal; never take John's hat, he will throw you in a bush; always wear a purple suit and drive a golf cart; always live in an undersea bunker instead of a house; become a ping-pong world champion; always drink snapple grape; 

Whip Around

This is the end. A High soldier descends down, ending blood at the beginning. Winning is no option. Cowards have fled, people have failed. The dream is lost. Irrevocably gone. A new era has begun. Change. For better or worse, love or hate, it is here. It will never leave, and never fall.

A letter to Mike about COD:WAW vs GOW2

My dear friend,

There is no comparison between Gears of War 2 and Call of Duty: World at War. Gears of War 2 (abbreviated as GOW) is a vastly superior game to Call of Duty (abbreviated as COD). The close range battle system in GOW is at least a 10 fold better. GOW is also 100x more realistic than COD. When it comes down to it, GOW is far and away the better game. 

GOW has a much better close range system. In COD you get one main gun, and a pistol. Now, imagine you are playing as a sniper. You have a 0% chance of winning the battle unless your opponent is a sniper or you get a lucky kill or can get within super close range and use his knife, something that has about a 10% chance of happening. In GOW, every character is equipped with an assault rifle, shotgun, and a pistol. You may be thinking, in a close range situation, the shotgun wins every time right? Wrong. The assault rifle has a chainsaw bayonet. Even though the shotgun is more powerful, if the player with the assault rifle times his moves correctly, the shotgun player will stand no chance and be sliced in half with tons of blood flying everywhere. It is the greatest thing you can do in all of video games. In GOW close quarters combat really is 50% to 50%, as well as more fun. 

GOW is also incredibly realistic. In COD, unless a headshot is achieved, there is no blood.  In GOW, there is an over abundance of blood and screaming. In GOW, there is the ability to take cover and protect yourself. In COD, you can only find random things and hope that when you crouch, your head isn't exposed. However, 90% of the time, the "cover" isn't tall enough and you get destroyed by a sniper. In GOW, you get no special abilities. In COD, you can choose what special attributes your character receives. He can be ultra conditioned, carrying 2 grenades, carrying extra ammo, get extra bullet damage, or everyones favorite, have more health. That is just to name a few. He can also unlock more and better guns for use. In COD, the playing field is never even. In GOW, everyone is given the same tools to succeed and everyone is equally capable. 

GOW IS FAR SUPERIOR TO COD IN EVERY WAY.

Sincerely,

Matt

Texting

Texting. As hotly opposed as it is by some, it is equally loved by others. I like it, but can easily go without it. Texting does not ruin the english language; at least not for me. Because of the fact that I have a full keyboard, I can text like I am writing this now: using proper English. Texting is a fast, practical way to communicate. Some may ask, "Why not call a person?" Well the answer to that is simple. Texting is fast. Much faster than a call and it is short. If I sent someone a funny email, I would text them, because calling and waiting through that horrible sequence of irritable ringing noises is just not worth it to say "hey check your email." 

Texting is more stealthy. When you're on the phone, everyone can hear you. Texting is a way to communicate without broadcasting to everyone around you what your plans are. If I need to discuss the Super Hopper with Dr. Millz, I will send him a text. If i need to update the Groundskeeper of the status of the "rake/pool vacuum", I will text him. Texting in most ways, and when done properly, is the ultimate weapon for people who need to say in constant communication. 

Texting, love it or hate it, it is here to stay. Expensive as it may be, in the ultra connected society of today, people need to stay in touch. More than ever, families and long distance friends can now stay in touch using only their thumbs. Wether texting evolves into something completely different, that remains to be seen. One can only assume that it will evolve because communication always have. Humans have gone through letters, morse code, telegraphs, calls, emails, and now texting. One day there will be some new way of communication that will supersede all ways we now know. But for now, that way is texting.

New Lunch Strategy

I have done it! I found a way to get to lunch and minimize my waiting time for my food. This new revolutionary strategy is.... running. By running to lunch, I can increase my sandwich retrieving skills. In order to improve my speed, I use a process called drafting, which means running behind larger people, and let them absorb the drag. I learned this absolutely dandy strategy while at Zamboni Boot Camp. It is quite useful whenever speed is necessary. However, me and my friend, we shall call him "Dr. Millz", have devised an ingenious new device called the super hopper. This extraordinary device captures lightening, then scrambles that throughout the body, and allows people to hop in between dimensions. The first prototype will be completed shortly.

Super Hopper website here:

Thegreatestdeviceintheworldoratleastcanada.com

Am I scared of becoming an adult

No, I am not scared of becoming an adult. I believe that I will be able to get a good job that will support my pastimes. My pastimes, although expensive, are all one time fees. A car will last forever if properly maintained. I am more scared of college than I am of full adult hood. The are many more opportunities to get into trouble. I don't want to end up like Joba Chamberlain and get a DUI

Lunch.....

The lunch lines are too long. I am waiting until the lines diminish. If this gets any worse, I may have to stop eating lunch. Stopping the consumption of food, however dangerous, is worth it. The less weight on my Zamboni, the faster it will go. The faster it goes, the more money I make, which is very good.