Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Random Advice

Never wear white to visit the black hole; never make fun of terrorists; always exploit the mental advantage; never ever buy a slow car; never buy a front wheel drive car; always like the red sox;always hate the yankees; never yell bomb whilst on a plane; never try to fight an air marshall; never go to Compton; never explore Serj Tankians empty walls; never make fun of someone in the armed forces; never watch a chick flick because love stories suck, love is for people who are too weak to watch after themselves; try to discover the meaning of life; never go to the middle east on a vacation, you will die; never throw a show at the president; never procrastinate; never visit your in laws, never break any rules, but push them to their limits; look for loopholes in EVERYTHING; always remember its only cheating if you get caught; never try any drugs; never get into a relationship, they are a black hole of money and you will break up anyway; always laugh when you shouldn't; always stay away from Michael Jackson's never land ranch; never invite Tom Cruise into your house, he will break your couch; never follow a baseball team with a crapy bullpen, they will always blow the lead (07 and 08 Mets); always argue until you win; always make fun of european people; always try to live in Canada; never vote for Barrack Osama; always drive a huge, gas guzzling SUV; always aid global warming, winter sucks; always make fun of Al Gore; never believe a politician; never become a WoW player, you will become addicted; never allow yourself to get fat; always play weird obscure sports, like water polo and rowing; never allow yourself to buy a hybrid car; always "hate" on posers; always make some amazing game character, like the pope in SoulCaliber; always drive above the speed limit; never buy a dodge viper, corvettes are better; always put the biggest turbo you can find onto your car; always avoid homeless people; always remember karma is fake; always believe in God; never visit new york; go bungee jumping; go skydiving; never forget when you were wronged; always get revenge multiple times; always lie to people who aren't your friends; when no one's looking, what reason do you have not to steal; never take John's hat, he will throw you in a bush; always wear a purple suit and drive a golf cart; always live in an undersea bunker instead of a house; become a ping-pong world champion; always drink snapple grape; 

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